Adam LaRoche: He Gawn!

Discussion in 'SOXual Healing' started by FedEx, Mar 15, 2016.

  1. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    Pretty much.

    :youbet:
  2. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    Oh, it's Drew Magary, so you know it's going to be good.

    :mjpopcorn:

    And that’s… a good thing? I guess? LET ME STICK MY HAND IN THIS RUNNING BLENDER WITH NO HESITATION WHATSOEVER.

    Note that KANSAN here is obvious code language for a simple, good man. A man made entirely out of diesel fuel and corn husks.

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? He’s a Christian white guy who hunts. He may as well have worn his camo gear in the locker room, he blends in so seamlessly. Dress up like Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element and hit the ballpark every day. Then I’ll buy all this nonconformity bullshit.

    Ah, yes. Bagtagging the way JESUS intended.

    You JUST explained it. Hey, this guy started a meat company and it did well. GOD’S MYSTERIES ONLY DEEPEN.

    I like that Keown appears to have just taken LaRoche at his word here. “Oh, so two baseball players hung around a bunch of sex workers for 10 days and freed them, Indiana Jones-style? Sure, I believe you, you sound so certain.”

    Montana’s teacher began to tell Adam about grades and test scores, how Montana was faring statewide. Adam interrupted.

    “All I care about is … How is their nut-slapping technique? ‘Cause that’s a real world skill.”



    Just great to read that Brooks is in up to his balls in this shit, too...
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2016
    AnthraxFan93 likes this.
  3. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    Should erase any doubt why the team played like a bunch of limp-dicked :fagot:s last year with half the team's tongues stuck up this dude's ass
  4. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    :biglaff:

    That's a different Boyer, not Brooks.
  5. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    :gfm:

    Phew!

    Anyway, Deadspin comments ftw:

    LouisLippsDrew Magary
    4/13/16 11:19am
    Adam LaRoche to Sex Trafficker: “But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.”

    Sex Trafficker: “Yeah, I know. I had you on my fantasy team in 2011, Adam.”
    chops, Ziggy and AnthraxFan93 like this.
  6. AnthraxFan93
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    AnthraxFan93 BASEBALL GURU

    "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? He’s a Christian white guy who hunts. He may as well have worn his camo gear in the locker room, he blends in so seamlessly. Dress up like Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element and hit the ballpark every day. Then I’ll buy all this nonconformity bullshit."

    Dude I'm crying from laughing so hard from this.. I'm now picture LaRoche when talking with Kenny going .. Ok,Ok,ok,ok...pssst( while waving his hands), after the tone it down conversation.
  7. October
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    October Local Pessimist

    “There’s no other workplace where you walk in and guys are slapping each other in the nuts and saying the stuff they do."
    :mcnabb:
    So everyone (including myself) who made the lame joke that he'd rather have his son in a locker room full of naked men than in school was actually true. He looked at the environment around him and though to himself "this is nice, Lawrie just totally slapped Eaton's nuts. My kid needs to see this."
  8. October
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    October Local Pessimist

    It seems his attitude was so shitty and indifferent toward the game that it had an effect on the team. It sounds like a player like Lawrie or Rollins would end up slapping the taste out of his mouth if he was on the team all year.
  9. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    Listen, no disrespect at all, but I honestly don’t care about getting "on base" or if we're scoring, all I care about is two questions: How are Eaton and Melky treating their teammates, and how are they treating Robin?

    :fagot:
    Ziggy, Team Speed, October and 3 others like this.
  10. BeviBall
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    BeviBall No wallet. No crack. Not me.

    Nice of ESPN to make Fatherboy eligible again for the 2017 ToS.
    chops, Ziggy, October and 3 others like this.
  11. Alanzo
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    Alanzo Well-Known Member

    Chris Sale and Adam Eaton have this guy's back, too.
    Cheeses likes this.
  12. October
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    October Local Pessimist

    Will they after this though? Perhaps they just thought it was a case of cats cradle and that he loves his son so they felt bad. This article that is pro-Laroche has likely turned just about everyone against him.
  13. Unregistered
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    Unregistered The Facebook of Fucking Cupcake Mod

    I think they are also dipshits, so yes, they'll still have his back. As was mentioned, there is no shortage of the Jesus-loving white guy who loves to hunt in MLB, so he's probably got a lot of like-minded buddies on every team.
  14. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Oh yeah Sale, Eaton and Danks are eating up this good ol' Christian white guy Southern hunting dude bullshit fluff piece.
  15. maurice
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    maurice Gangster of Love

    :waiting: for some puff piece about a black player who pulled his kids out of school because school isn't important. Charles Barkley got heat for saying that he's not a role model for children, but the fucking media is acting like LaDouche is a good role model for fathers.

    :whitepeople:

    :gun2:
  16. Deuce
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    Deuce Has Dysentery

  17. s=D
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    s=D Message Board Historian

    I see kittle42 says Adam is now his least favourite SOX player ever. It must be because they are on opposite sides of the prostitution battle. :afropick:
    chops, FedEx and Team Speed like this.
  18. skottyj
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    skottyj Owner of Many Baseball Hats

    I want to know more about this sex slave stuff. Like did they go in and solicit sex then when it came time to pay they were like nah we're cool?
    y2chae likes this.
  19. skottyj
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    skottyj Owner of Many Baseball Hats

    I mean that's some sitcom shit; like oh no we're not here to partake in the party we're here to stop the party. I bet that's why he quit. He got caught having sex with an underage boy in Asia and was forced to retire. It's not even his kid; it's his fuck toy.
  20. Alanzo
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    Alanzo Well-Known Member

    I can only take this to me that Alex and others are liking the shit out of Adam's facebook posts.
  21. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Asshole LaRoche apparently went on ABC News to talk about fatherboy haps

    So much for being this aw shucks guy who just wants to spend time with his kid. Looking more and more like he's an attention seeking shithead with an agenda to promote himself.
    CaptainBallz likes this.
  22. IWMB
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    IWMB Resident Umpire

    :maher:

    Go die in a fire.
  23. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    It was actually on Good Morning America today:

    http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment...s-walking-13m-chicago-white/story?id=38497408

    Again :mcnabb:

    Good riddance. After he found his higher calling as a sex slave liberator and not finding baseball all that important you know he would've just hit 200/260/320 this season. He should ask God if that's the reason he was bad last year too.
  24. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Also the "what if this was my daughter" thing doesn't hold up as a valid reason for wanting to be a sex slave liberator. His daughter was fortunate enough to grow up with a very different world/society. It's not a logical concern for a millionaire's kid to worry that they could be a teenage sex slave. You could then apply that logical to any negative situation that occurs in the world.

    -LaRoche should go around and try stopping world hunger, what if his kids were starving in Africa
    -Speaking of Africa he should go fight Boko Haram, what if it was his daughter getting kidnapped
    -In fact, fight all terrorist groups like ISIS, what if his kids were Syrians trying to flee their country
    -Why limit it to the plight of violence overseas? What if his kids were stuck in the gangland of Englewood? LaRoche should be trying to take down the BGD and Vice Lords.

    Just thought of another one:
    -What if his kids were living in Flint, MI and poisoned by the lead water. LaRoche should go around the country inspecting every public water source
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2016
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  25. Stockdale4Veep
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    Stockdale4Veep Knows the Dewey Decimal System

    When will there be a media reply from KW on this BS? Would love a public sox :maher:
  26. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    I'm pretty sure the SOX are all :wipehands: with this Jesusy beardo douchebag by this point.

    He's really setting himself up for full-blown John Oliver takedown because in between all of his (literally) holier-than-thou self-aggrandizing bullshit is a dude who comes across as an entitled, self-centered cunt who's pretty much admitting to fucking over his employer and fans, taking their money while he couldn't give two shits about holding up his end of the bargain so long as he could helicopter over his son every goddamn day.

    Fuck this guy on every imaginable level
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2016
  27. maurice
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    maurice Gangster of Love

    On my el ride to work this morning, some dude was alternating between mumbling and screaming while holding a bible and calling everybody devils and warlocks.

    That guy was less insane than LaDouche, his sex-slave fantasies, and Jesus's plan to raise his children to be hostile to education and professionalism.
    Alanzo likes this.
  28. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    And ABC just had to run a snippet from the GMA interview during their national news broadcast tonight.

    Just die, LaRoche.
  29. Stockdale4Veep
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    Stockdale4Veep Knows the Dewey Decimal System

    I know this went public because he retired but were there ever mumblings or comments about him doing this (bringing kid) with the nationals or anyone else?
  30. samram
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    samram Bon Vivant

    I'm pretty sure he had the kid around all the time with the Nats too.
  31. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    If other players were quietly grumbling about it, it was a pretty well-kept secret.
  32. Stockdale4Veep
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    Stockdale4Veep Knows the Dewey Decimal System

    I mean media wise, I'm sure there must have been someone who said "dude, why is he here with other grown men?"
  33. samram
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    samram Bon Vivant

    Maybe, but he was a 25/100 guy with them.
  34. maurice
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    maurice Gangster of Love

    That was before he admittedly stopped giving a shit about baseball.
  35. IWMB
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    IWMB Resident Umpire

    Cheeses likes this.
  36. Stockdale4Veep
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    Stockdale4Veep Knows the Dewey Decimal System

    Back then for a kid it was either working for a ball club or testing asbestos sleeping blankets
  37. maurice
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    maurice Gangster of Love

    If Drake were still leading the Sox, they would've won 20 games by now.
    Deuce likes this.
  38. Stockdale4Veep
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    Stockdale4Veep Knows the Dewey Decimal System

    And the cubs would yet to win a game after 27 devestating season ending injuries
  39. BeviBall
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    BeviBall No wallet. No crack. Not me.

    chops likes this.
  40. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sport...che-sex-slavery-interview-20160427-story.html

    :mcnabb:
  41. Unregistered
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    Unregistered The Facebook of Fucking Cupcake Mod

    I dunno man, it's sort of weird that nobody's calling him out for this whole "oh yeah, I was doing research at all these whorehouses" thing.
    chops likes this.
  42. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    HE DID IT FOR JESUS JEANS DONT QUESTION THE MANS MOTIVES
    SouthAsianpalehose and Cheeses like this.
  43. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    Total weirdo.
  44. October
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    October Local Pessimist

    He can't get his name out of the news can he? He retired on what? The 15th or so of March? And he's still making sure his name is in the papers. Maybe he expected the sox to suck and the headlines would be calling for managements heads due to the Sox's 6-16 start. The 16-6 start showed the sox are a much better team without him.
    Cheeses likes this.
  45. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    A -0.8 WAR player from last year who admitted he stopped caring about baseball still being on this team? What could've went wrong?
  46. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors Cupcake Mod

    Benetti + Chance hats - LaRoche = WS

    :notbad2:
    Team Speed and October like this.
  47. Unregistered
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    Unregistered The Facebook of Fucking Cupcake Mod

    Yeah, he's basically trolling for press at this point. Like this gem from yesterday:

  48. samram
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    samram Bon Vivant

    Next tweet from him:

    "Also, yesterday, the day after tomorrow, and pretty much every day for the rest of your life"
    SouthAsianpalehose and Alanzo like this.
  49. SABRSox
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    SABRSox Hollywood Mega-Hunk Bob Balaban Cupcake Mod

    "Every day is I'm not big on school day."
  50. IWMB
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    IWMB Resident Umpire

    http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20160504/sports/160509421/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

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