Adam LaRoche: He Gawn!

Discussion in 'SOXual Healing' started by FedEx, Mar 15, 2016.

  1. FedEx
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    FedEx Delivers

  2. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Do not be afraid to crush the cucks with your mind Cupcake Mod

  3. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

  4. FedEx
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    FedEx Delivers

    LaRoche batted .207/.293/.340, 78 OPS+ his first and only year with the Sox.

    Ends his career at .260/.336/.462, 111 OPS+ and was due $13M this season.
  5. Ziggy
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    Ziggy I Can Get Laid in Germany

  6. Team Speed
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    Team Speed Well-Known Member

    Holy shit. Wish it happened in November but I guess I'll take it.
    Retarded Ox likes this.
  7. sycked
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    sycked If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today.

  8. skottyj
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    skottyj Owner of Many Baseball Hats

    This is awesome.
  9. Team Speed
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    Team Speed Well-Known Member

    Build him a damn statue (in the shitter).
  10. zmz
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    zmz By the Banks of the River Chicago

  11. IWMB
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    IWMB Resident Umpire

    :faint:

    That's unbelievable
  12. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    This is addition by subtraction but he couldn't make this decision sooner? The Sox could've given a bigger offer to Gordon or another top FA target. Oh well, at least it'll offer the team greater financial flexibility moving forward regardless
  13. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    Tired of Robin's incessant devil worship?
  14. zmz
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    zmz By the Banks of the River Chicago

  15. Team Speed
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    Team Speed Well-Known Member

    Most reporters probably have this stock language saved in their computers for future articles on sox free agents.
  16. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Do not be afraid to crush the cucks with your mind Cupcake Mod

  17. SABRSox
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    SABRSox Hollywood Mega-Hunk Bob Balaban Cupcake Mod

    Yeah, it's kind of a shame we didn't get to spend that $13M elsewhere during the offseason.
  18. zmz
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    zmz By the Banks of the River Chicago

    Of course he did this in the most SOX way possible
  19. BeviBall
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    BeviBall No wallet. No crack. Not me.

    Praise Drumpf!!!
  20. BeviBall
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    BeviBall No wallet. No crack. Not me.

    Well, there's almost enough for Jackson's extension!!!
  21. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Do not be afraid to crush the cucks with your mind Cupcake Mod

    :jolly:
  22. maurice
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    maurice Gangster of Love

    "Man of character" or fucking imbecile? He's already missed a bunch of time this spring with back spasms. Woulda been plenty easy to collect that money without actually playing or even travelling with the team.

    Must be some weird shit going on at home.
  23. IWMB
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    IWMB Resident Umpire

    We have no idea what the circumstances are that caused this. Could be a serious family issue that just came up.

    EDIT: Seems like it's probably because of the back issues. So yeah, not really foreseeable to him over the winter that it would become too horrible to tolerate during camp.
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2016
  24. Unregistered
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    Unregistered The Facebook of Fucking Cupcake Mod

    Hits .200 and then retires during spring training. Thanks brah.

    :tiphat:
  25. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Yeah I don't see how that makes him a man of character. If the guy is hurt, no matter how shitty he is, he's still entitled to this salary.
  26. SABRSox
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    SABRSox Hollywood Mega-Hunk Bob Balaban Cupcake Mod

    I suspect they move him to the 60-day DL, let the insurance pay his salary, and then he officially retires at the end of the season.
  27. Team Speed
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    Team Speed Well-Known Member

    Wouldn't the insurance company fight that? Maybe all parties reach a "just go away" settlement.
  28. SABRSox
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    SABRSox Hollywood Mega-Hunk Bob Balaban Cupcake Mod

    I would expect the insurance company to fight that now. Smart thing would have been to claim some chronic back condition on the down low, and then just keep mouths shut until October.
  29. s=D
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    s=D Message Board Historian

    I think that's what Michael Cuddyer got.
  30. DepaulSox
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    DepaulSox Well-Known Member

    You mean this fucker didn't lift a weight or swing a bat the entire fucking offseason to know his back was shot? Nothing?

    Fuck him.
  31. DepaulSox
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    DepaulSox Well-Known Member

    Are we obligated to be all fucking "hope everything's ok at home" and "thanks for the memories" and "good guy but ran into some bad luck" here? Reading Soxtalk and WSI is douche-chilling. Fuck this guy.
  32. s=D
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    s=D Message Board Historian

    It must be the Adam Dunn offseason workout routine.
  33. rustysurf83
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    rustysurf83 Cato Institute Shill

  34. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Bruce Levine saying trading for CarGo or Ethier is now back on the table with Laroche's salary off the books.
  35. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Do not be afraid to crush the cucks with your mind Cupcake Mod

    :willem:
  36. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    Sox front office after wishing LaDouche all the best...

    :fappingtime:
  37. whitesox901
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    whitesox901 Banjo and Kazui's great adventure

  38. zmz
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    zmz By the Banks of the River Chicago

  39. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Do not be afraid to crush the cucks with your mind Cupcake Mod

    :biglaff:

    Should have done that a year ago.
  40. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    If that's true...

    :uh:
  41. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    :helloexactly:

    Why the holy fuck was LaDouche's shithead kid in the clubhouse constantly to begin with?

    Fucking Jesus people, I swear....
  42. SABRSox
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    SABRSox Hollywood Mega-Hunk Bob Balaban Cupcake Mod

    I can't have my son join me in the clubhouse? Well I don't want your $13M then!
    Ziggy, BeviBall, Deuce and 4 others like this.
  43. samram
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    samram Bon Vivant

    "Hey, we have a completely reasonable request that we think could help us be more successful given that you didn't decide to kill yourself during the offseason."

    "Nah, I'll just retire and leak a story to the press in Pittsburgh about how your organization hates children."

    Get lost, asshole.
    Ziggy, October, BeviBall and 2 others like this.
  44. rustysurf83
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    rustysurf83 Cato Institute Shill

    Possibly the best thing KW has ever done..
    AnthraxFan93 and Cheeses like this.
  45. Cheeses
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    Cheeses Do not be afraid to crush the cucks with your mind Cupcake Mod

    Just wonder what the other non-Jesus players thought about some 14-year-old weiner kid being in their grills 24/7/365.
  46. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Yeah if he really quit because of this, he's a bit of a weirdo.
  47. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    ToS isn't up yet...

    I nominate LaRoche's son
    chops, Ziggy, Deuce and 1 other person like this.
  48. y2chae
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    y2chae Panda

    Yea no kidding. You want to tell the guys in the lockers next you about how you had a 3 some with some cleat chasing bizzos last night but this Jesus loving kid is in hearing range...
    Ziggy, zmz and Cheeses like this.
  49. Unregistered
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    Unregistered The Facebook of Fucking Cupcake Mod

    Asking a player who hit .207 last year and gets paid $13mm a year to maybe, you know, focus a little bit. What an unreasonable request.

    Gotta be awesome for clubhouse camaraderie to always have to watch what you say around some shithead kid, too. Fun times.

    And of course he's some stupid hillbilly

    chops likes this.
  50. CaptainBallz
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    CaptainBallz Windowlickin' Good

    :helloexactly:

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